


eridan ampora an the totally not soul crushin realization that their 26th birthday is soon and they havve done nothin wwith their life

by ruenruinsthefandom



Series: a load a stuff wwhat happened to eridan ampora [5]
Category: Homestuck
Genre: Gen, I'm back?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-25
Updated: 2021-01-25
Packaged: 2021-03-17 12:49:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 969
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28974663
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ruenruinsthefandom/pseuds/ruenruinsthefandom
Summary: after like fivve years i havve finally finished the latest in my series of amazin true tales of things wwhat really happened
Relationships: Eridan Ampora/Karkat Vantas, Eridan Ampora/Vriska Serket
Series: a load a stuff wwhat happened to eridan ampora [5]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/61637
Kudos: 3





	eridan ampora an the totally not soul crushin realization that their 26th birthday is soon and they havve done nothin wwith their life

it wwas a fuckin grimdark day if evver there fuckin wwas one an eri wwas feelin it

it had been a good fuckin wwhile since their last advventure or wwhatevver an things had basically gone evven more to shit than they had before an let me tell you that wwas fuckin sayin somethin. eri had reached wwhat humans called "on the vverge of your 26th birthday with abosolutely no direction in life" an it fuckin showwed. they might havve passed for someone else entirely wwere it not for the distinct shape of their horns and the thick glasses framin their baggy eyes.

silently they sat, scrolling idly through social media, passively absorbing the lives of people they'd lost contact with so long ago they weren't entirely sure they would have ever remembered them at all. they all felt so far away noww, physically and emotionally, they'd matured, fallen into stable quadrants, left alternia, gotten adult jobs, movved on. all wwhile they sat there, in their literal and figurativve shipwwreck, pining for a time than can nevver be recaptured, that can nevver be returned to.

eri sighed and tossed the grubphone aside, pulling themself up to their feet with a grunt of effort. they stared at themselvves in their mirror taking in the things time had done to it, if for no other reason than to just experience the presence of a person, if only by proxy. this too wwas a familiar ritual, though it came to a rather unusual end

eridans phone began to vvibrate, rattling the surface it was on an breaking the miasma of ennui or wwhatevver eri wwas locked in. they stared at it, the gears in their head grinding to somehoww remember wwhat one does wwhen one gets a phone call. they picked it up delicately, and turned to screen to face them, illuminated on wwhich wwas the grinnin vvisage a vvriska fuckin serket

eri tapped the answer button and raised it to his ear. "vvris? wwhats up?"

"eridan? fucking finally, i'vve been trying to get though to you for ages. listen to me, the reality you're in isn't real and wwe need to get you out."

"wwhat a course it real vvris this is basically the only wway my life could havve gone, i wwas a total peice a shit to evveryone and so they all gavve up on me an i wwound up on my owwn wwith nobody to blame but myself this is totally my just desserts narritivvely."

"no thats just wwhat the simulation youre in has convvinced you to 8elivve, think about it, there are wway too many inconsistancies in this simulation, i mean for one thing you're wway too sexy to 8e depressed."

eri wwas shook, of course, it all seemed so obvvious noww, it wwasnt their behavvior that wwas the problem, they wwere simply in a wworld wwhere evverythin wwas stacked against them "holy shit vvris, howw do i get out of this?"

"wwe gotta ovverload the system, you gotta do somethin you wwould nevver in a 8illion years do."

"wwhat like gamzee?"

"oh snap" vvris and eri laughed, haha for real, he wwas disgusting

"but no really wwhat the fuck does that mean"

"just do wwhats the fuckin opposite of the shit you wwould actually do. hold on im hacking into the mainframe or wwhatevver and im gonna teleport you to a place wwhere you can make more impact."

for a second the wwhole wworld around eri shook and then dropped awway and was replaced by a place he'd nevver been, but recognised in an instant, the deck of the imperial flagship, the home of servveral of his old friends and seat of empress feferi

"wwell here goes nothin" eri sighed, walking over to a transport pod and directing it to the bridge "time to say hi to the exes."

the flagships bridge wwas about as lavvish as it wwas possible to be, almost entirely made of gold and gems, draped in the finest silks and even havvin sparkin wwater on tap an wwhen eri sepped in he felt suddenly vvery out of place, rememberin that he wwas still wwearin a loose tee and a pair a pj bottoms. "uh hey guys long time no see."

the royal trio of fef, sol an kar stared eri dowwn, their importance and maturity almost more blinding than the gleam of all the tacky gold furnishings. it wwas fef wwho spoke first "wwhat the glub do you wwant, shouldn't you be in exile on alternia feeding my lusus?"

"guard2 take thi2 fucker out of my roal 2ight." sol said

it was only karkat who said nothing. eri an kar had maybe said enough the last time they spoke.

"wwait, i just wwanted to say. i'm really sorry."

"it2 a bit late for that." sol said

"oh no not about any of that, im sorry about this." eri said, drawin his wwand of science and wwith a flick sendin a beam of science through the heart of kar, killin him instantly.

sol and fef moved to react but before they could say or do anything, time stopped and eri felt their conciousness separte from their body.

the next moment they wwere awwake and bolt upright, swweat pouring down their toned, younger body and there was vvris and kar, concern turning to elation on their faces.

"you savved me." eri gasped, his mind still strugglin to coming to terms wwith the real wworld wwhere he wwas loved and respected

"of course wwe did." karkat said, pulling eridan into a tight hug. "i love you."

"i love you too kar." eri said returning the hug.

"for the record i don't love you, but i am glad youre back." vvris said joining the hug.

and all wwas right wwith the wworld once again

the end


End file.
